Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Say Anything
I have two short stories to share, neither of them very significant and neither are an impetus for this blog. Just a place to start.
About a month ago I was leaving a crowded Starbucks in an L.A. suburb at around 11pm. I was in the parking lot unlocking my car when a man approached me.
He was regular looking, middle aged, t-shirt, jeans, etc.
He leaned in and said, “Can I ask you a question?”
I said “no.” then I chastised him for approaching a young woman in a parking lot alone at night.
He assured me “I mean you no harm…I don’t know what to do about my wife.”
I took a step back and folded my arms.
“She just left me, and I’ve been sitting here at Starbucks for hours trying to figure out what to do with myself now…I saw it coming but damn, she just left me cause of money. I work hard and I still don’t make enough money to satisfy her.”
He went on for some time and as he spoke it became increasingly harder for him to hold back his tears. “She’s always wanting ‘things’, and her co-workers, they talk to her about me. They tell her I’m not the kind of man she needs and she needs someone who can provide her the lifestyle she deserves.”
He got silent, and I just stared at him, honestly, I didn’t know what to say. He had been avoiding my gaze this whole time, at first I thought he was drunk or high, and then it was clear he was just embarrassed or feeling emasculated.
He looked up for the first time and looked me square in my eyes. “What ever happened to just loving somebody…I don’t even know where to go right now, I just want her back and I feel like I might do something foolish.”
MAN!!!!!! I don’t know-- is what I was thinking. What I said was, “just be patient, honestly, the answers will surface in due time, give her some space, and don’t do anything you’ll regret…take this time to reflect.”
He totally bought it! Or at least he did in that moment, because he just nodded his head, and said, “you’re right, Its a lot to take in, I need to just let it sink in.” He thanked me, apologized for alarming me initially and was on his way.
Next story, about two weeks ago, night time, Brooklyn, NY. I was on a park bench talking to a friend. A young man, early twenties, looks like he’s from the area, walks up to us timidly with a desperate look in his eyes.
He addresses my friend. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah what’s up brotha?” My friend asked.
“I don’t mean to disturb ya’ll, may I sit down next to you and ask you a question?”
(My friend did all the talking) “Actually, homie now’s not such a good time, I’m catching up with my home girl.”
“I’ll only take a few seconds of your time, I just really need to talk to someone.”“Alright, well what’s up?” my friend asked, as he gestured with his right arm for the young man to ask the question from where he was standing.
The rest to was mostly inaudible. All I heard was ‘Son’, ‘heist’, ‘capers’, ‘try’n to put it on me’. I gleamed this young man was in some kinda trouble, and was looking for us to solve his problem- One way or another.
I think my boy sensed it was a little sketch as well because his response was super sympathetic and clearly meant to diffuse whatever pent up tension this man had built up that was just reflected all over his constricted face and posture.
“All I can tell you to do is fall back for now, lay low and eventually the truth will come to surface, try to rise above the negativity, don’t feed into it...and don’t do anything desperate that you’ll regret later. If you feel you’ve been wronged, don’t exasperate it by wronging someone else…just remember God right now, and everything will turn out ok.”
BRILLIANT!!!!!!
And with that, the young man relaxed his face muscles a little, his shoulders fell down some, his eyes softened and I saw a shift in his consciousness. He thanked us for listening and for the advice, wished us a good evening and walked away.
Uhhh….we left immediately after.
So, I guess what struck me the most about these two stories. Is that people are really in quite a state. I mean, they seem to be searching for reassurance, and good words…and the thing is, they’ll take it from anyone really, even perfect strangers in a parking lot or in the park.
I think both these men where in desperate states. Homie in L.A. looked like he was ready to fall into a drunken stopper…and maybe say something’s that would kill any prospects of reconciliation with his wife…he also looked like he really didn’t want to go there.
Same with the cat from BK. It really could of gone either way, the man looked like he was looking for a reason NOT to rob someone…if we’d of turned him away, who knows…we could have been his victims, a strangers kindness reminded him of his higher self.
Please don’t have any expectations for this blog…I’m not a motivational speaker, and I really don’t have answers. If you stop in from time to time, I may have posted something interesting to ponder, mostly it won’t come from me.
I have a lot of questions these days. The older I’m getting the less I know. The older I’m getting the more I’m comfortable with not knowing.
But I’m becoming certain of one thing, there are very few definitive answers…most serious questions, questions about loving someone, career paths, faith and spirituality, politics, the heavy stuff, don’t have a clear right and wrong. Most answers lie somewhere in between yes and no.
Thank you for reading.